Who Do You Believe?

Who Do You Believe?, Norman Rockwell, Mirror, painting, artwork, young girl with magazine

Who Do You Believe?

As Christian women, we know God’s sacred intent for every young woman is to think, act, and dress to reflect His glory to a dying, lost world. It brings a distinct blessing to our families and to our homes.

Yet the post-modern world is telling us its own confused version about what it means to be a woman. It says, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it!” And many Christian women (and their mothers) are buying it. The pressures start young!

Who Do You Believe?, three girls, group photo, friends,

(Creative Commons)

Who Do You Believe?, Ronnie_Spector_(1971)

(Creative Commons)

Most young girls today are conflicted, feel tremendous pressure to conform, and many, if pressed, would admit to being miserable. We are inadvertently sexualizing our children by listening to and buying into the world’s values.

Who Do You Believe?, children's beauty pageants, sexualization of our daughters, the world vs. God, comparison, worldly beauty, feminine beauty

(Creative Commons)

Karen, a friend of mine, sent me this re-working of the popular music video What Makes You Beautiful. Some Paladin varsity players, coaches, and parents felt they could use the basis of this song to make a statement. These young men have the right idea, and I think this will make you smile. Listen to these young mens’ words:

…Girls with integrity are so hard to find these days…

…if only you saw what I could see, you’d understand why I need your modesty…

…we don’t know why you’d want a guy, who only cares what he sees with his eyes…

…virtue is so beautiful…you gotta know, modesty is so beautiful…

The world tells us one thing, and God in His Word tells us something radically different:

The world says…You must be flawless – like the airbrushed models. God says…You are beautiful and there is no blemish in you. (Song of Songs 4:7)

The world says…You must be tall and thin – like Barbie. God says…People judge by outward appearance, but I look at the heart. You are made wonderfully complex. (Psalm 139:14, 1 Samuel 16:7)

The world says… You’re not cool if you’re not a size 0; just stop eating. God says…The loathing of food will lead to death’s gate. (Psalm 107:18)

The world says…Food makes you feel better; indulge yourself. God says…I alone satisfy your hungry soul and fill it with good food. (Psalm 107:9)

The world says…If you don’t have all the right curves in all the right places, you can pay for them. God says…You are being renewed as you learn to know me and become like Me. I paid for it all. (Colossians 3:10, Galatians 1:4)

The world says…You must act perfectly, too. God says…My grace is all you need. My power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

The world says…Follow the tricks of the trade, and you will be beautiful. God says…Don’t copy the behavior and rituals of this world, but let Me transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know My good and pleasing and perfect will for you. (Romans 12:2)

The world says…Opinions and approval of others matter most. God says…Do your best so you can present yourself to Me and receive My approval. (2 Timothy 2:15)

The world says…Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. God says…Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourself, measuring yourself by the faith I have given you. (Romans 12:3)

The world says…Fear rejection. God says…The fear of rejection will trap you. (Proverbs 29:25)

The world says…Looks are everything. God says…Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

The world says…Trust me; you can have it all! God says… Trust in Me. I will work all things out for the good. (Romans 8:28)

The world says…You can do what you want—it’s your body. God says…I bought you at a high price. Honor Me with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:20)

The world says…Your confidence is found in your appearance. God says…I am your confidence. I will keep your foot from being caught. (Proverbs 3:26)

The world says…It’s okay—it won’t hurt you this one time. God says…Don’t let sin control the way you live. Do not give in to it. (Romans 6:12)

The world says…They’ll never change. God says…Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with Me. Everything is possible with Me. (Mark 10:26-27)

The world says…If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em. God says…I chose you to come out of the world; even before you were born, I chose you and called you by My marvelous grace. (John 15:19, Galatians 1:15)

(Scriptures are excerpted from CCEA Women)

So – who do you believe? God or the world?

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.…” ~Galatians 6: 7-8

Who Do You Believe?, little girl makeup (2)

Do you see the pain and hollowness in girls’ eyes today? The hardness we see is a reflection of affections with a world that can never really love them like the lover of our souls.

Pray along with me that our daughters will understand how precious they are to our Lord, and not look to the ‘world’ for love, guidance, or self-worth, but to Jesus alone. Pray that we mothers will be able to lead them, and that they will have discernment to see through the lies the world paints for them.

Who Do You Believe?, Set-Apart Femininity, book by Leslie Ludy

Set-Apart Femininity: God’s Sacred Intent for Every Young Woman

 Who Do You Believe?, modesty, feminine beauty, dignity, beautiful womanhood

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves…”  1 Peter 3: 3-5

I am striving for more and more of this dignity and modesty of spirit today. Will you run the race with me?

Who Do You Believe?, Emile Munier, May I Have One, too?, painting, child with a slice of bread, eating fruit

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~ Jacqueline

This entry was posted in Beauty, Modesty, Raising Daughters, The Christian Walk. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Who Do You Believe?

  1. Shasta says:

    Thank you for writing this! I saw the music video a few days ago and enjoyed it. I made plenty of mistakes in this area while in my late teens and early twenties. My daughters are now 22 and about to be 17, and I am happy and thankful that they are modest young ladies who love God. I am praying that my three boys will find modest young ladies when they are older.

  2. Kathryn Ross says:

    Love this, Jacqueline! Such a necessary voice crying in the wilderness of worldly values – and God’s Word always makes my heart leap with its power and veracity! This concept is one of my soapboxes, too – so tragic when I see many of our Christians buying into worldly values thinking a thin veneer of Christianity can cover up – often times what needs to be practically covered up!
    Blessings, milady!
    Kathy

  3. Christy C says:

    I’m running the race with you! As always, your blog is such a blessing!
    Hugs!

  4. As a mother of teen daughters, this is an area close to my heart. It saddens me that my beautiful, feminine, modest daughters feel “different” among their peers … and not always in a good way. We have taught our girls that actions are even louder than attire, and that to be truly modest one needs to behave in a way that shows your heart. It seems to be a dying cause, however. :-(

  5. Carla P says:

    Ok. I saw this music video and loved it. Then I watched it again. THEN I
    saw a guy close to the end of the line at close to the end of the video do some kind of “gang” “hand” sign. Maybe he doesnt understand what it means or that he wasvjust being “cool” but some of these things have very very vulgar sexual connotations. Why do they have to do that? Just makes me sad. So many young people are doing that trying to look cool and it takes away their testimony.

    • Jacqueline says:

      I agree, Carla; I didn’t see that, but I’ll go back and watch. I am out of the ‘know’ on hand signs. If indeed he knew what he was doing, it would be a weak or non-existent testimony. I am pretty sure a lot of people don’t know about them either, but then a lot probably do. Sad.
      Thank you for being observant, and I hope he had no idea what he was doing…so much copycatting even when I was in high school and college back in the 60s and 70s. I remember doing some (what I found out later) lewd arm movements in a line dance in college, and later felt horrible about it.

  6. Love this Jacqueline, absolutely love it..

  7. Roxy says:

    Dear Jacqueline, The scriptures were the truth; the world has been deceived! I know it has been a hard truth to sell, when so many think modesty is dull and not sweet and feminine. I loved it when you did the series on modest fashion. I believe because there are so many ways of (The revealing of oneself, and seeing so much on line ect.)
    We have so many fronts to try to protect! I have prayed for the Lord to set a guard over my Husbands eyes, when just going to the mall or anywhere for that matter.
    Thank you, And Thank you again…. Speak and write the truth as His word will not return void! Also, I am deeply honored for placing my Blog Button on your Blogs YOU visit!!
    Happy Valentine’s Day to YOU!
    Roxy

  8. Toni says:

    Wow, this is a great post, Jacqueline. Oh yes, there is a raging battle, especially in the media to take down our children and cause them to conform to every form of vile degradation. It’s a war like none before, and the power of television is really strong. That’s why we kicked ours out the door. :) The Lord is still sovereign and His every Word is True.

  9. Jill York says:

    I’m with you and desire to pass on modesty and dignity to my girls!

  10. Amazingly put! This is right on time my friend. I am raising a teen girl and today its so hard. I love this encouragement and will be sharing it with her as well.

  11. JES says:

    I can’t hug you enough! This post speaks volumes of what is in my heart these days! Every sentence, every sentiment… Thank you for sharing this! And the video was wonderful :)

  12. Charlotte Moore says:

    AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!! I too am out of the loop on any signs that are gang related. We did away with TV many years ago. I am shocked at even commercials that are so vulgar when we are around TV. I do think some of the moves that are done in songs and dances are very inappropriate. Glad I am not having to raise children in this time. However, I do have grandchildren I think of.

    Thanks for your GOD given words.

  13. Manuela Grangeio says:

    Hello!
    What a great post!
    I hope that my daughter will learn about modesty with me and I pray to the Lord inspiration and love so I can teach her.
    God bless you.
    From Portugal,
    Manuela

    • Jacqueline says:

      Dear Manuela,
      I am so glad to have you join us from Portugal! May the Lord bless you, dear Mama as this is a desire of your heart. You are praying according to His will and He will bless it…
      I am glad you are praying for inspiration and LOVE (especially) since if we try to teach these things without love, it might not be received by our daughters. We might be perceived as just legalistic and stuffy and really not be modest ourselves in our heart attitudes…1 Cor. 13: 1-3 (Love chapter)
      “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

      2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

      3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.”
      Love covers a multitude of sins!
      God’s manifold blessings to you and your family, Manuela!

      • Manuela Grangeio says:

        Dear Jacqueline,
        thank you so much for your reply.
        Indeed Love should inspire our live in every moment. I am nothing without Love. Or nothing can do without Love.
        God bless you and your family.
        Adeus
        Manuela

  14. Carol says:

    Dear Jacqueline,
    This is a great post. Thank-you for the wonderful list of verses–truth that we need to absorb and share. We need to be light and salt in our culture.
    Praying with you,
    Carol

  15. Hilary says:

    Thank you, Ms. Jacqueline! This one speaks volumes. God Bless you as you seek Him.
    Hilary at Wholesome Reads

  16. Renee says:

    Thank you for your inspiring post. It makes my heart happy to see good people of all faiths standing shoulder to shoulder, fighting the good fight! I have the opportunity to associate with many great young people and it gives me hope to see youth standing for something! Again, thank you for sharing.

  17. Becca says:

    Thank you fro this post! That song is great! We’re making a Facebook page for our Sexual Integrity students, and that will be a great future song to post on it! :)

  18. Lora says:

    Having 5 daughters from 17-29 I struggled not with teaching the girls to be modest, but determining how that “looks”. It is so easy to fall into stereotypes of modesty only looking a certain way, with a certain style. I found from raising 5 girls that they all have different tastes and personalities. For me the trick is letting them each shine as who God created them to be while still maintaining modesty. Thankfully my girls have a desire to dress in a modest fashion. It can be hard to see an outfit through another’s eyes and my girls take constructive criticism well. If I think something is pushing the line and say something they are quick to positively respond and fix whatever it is. I think that has come about through a lot of open discussion and setting a foundation with them that I’m not judging them — just the outfit. I have found that handling such matters with a smile and a gentle word works well. Not the anger and judgment I grew up hearing. You know the typical, “You’re not going out of the house looking like that!” ;-)

    A mistake I see some making is to not see your teenage (I really dislike that word) daughters as the young women they are. We should treat them with the kindness and respect we would want our husbands to use with us. A good test before I speak would be to think how I would feel if my husband said what I’m about to say to me and if needed adjust my words and actions accordingly.

    • Jacqueline says:

      Lora, Well said, my friend! That is sound advice filled with evident love. We draw more flies with honey than with vinegar!
      God bless you and yours!

  19. Abby says:

    This is wonderful Jacqueline. I especially like the verses and comparison with what the world says vs. what God says. I’m going to use this with my Sunday School class of teenage girls.

  20. Francie says:

    Thank you for writing this so eloquently. Today, on Mother’s Day of all days I received a text msg from a friend which was a mass text sent out to multiple women wishing everyone happy Mother’s Day. Then another mom replied with a picture of her very young elementary aged daughter with a cute graphic that said happy Mother’s Day. The young girl in the picture was dressed in a French hooker outfit. I don’t know I why the young girl was dressed this way, and I’m not exaggerating. It reminded me of that video with Christina Aguilera…Lady Marmalade. The skirt in the pic was actually somewhat modest, but the top was like a bustier complete with feathers in her hair and the whole bit. In American society it has become the norm to dress little girls this way.

    My own six year old wears mainly blue jeans and tee shirts. She is a little more tom boyish. She saw the picture of the other young girl and said she thought it was cute. Even at my daughters Montessori school, little girls often wear tutus to school! I don’t understand how this has become the norm. When I was a kid I wore wrangler jeans.

    I’m definitely going to keep this blog bookmarked and return to it when I start feeling the pressure. It’s only a matter of time before my own daughter wants to change her style of dress and I’ll remember the words here when she does.

    • Jacqueline says:

      Aww…Francie, what we can do is pray! On-the-knees parenting, for sure! Glad it encouraged you, sweet mama!

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